Why Mothers are Heroes: Appreciation Post on National Hero Day (Shoutout: Happy Birthday to my Mama!)
In retrospect, my sixteen-year-old self would've thought that by twenty-six, I have it all figured out. And seeing that where I am today clearly tells that, well, yo, I do not. Funny how many people I know feel the same way. There might be some kind of "epidemic of collective feelings" that our society does not talk about, huh?
I grew up the usual middle-class Filipino teenager with the usual middle-class big dreams and usually, my parents, my grown-up relatives, my grandparents, my teachers, and society, in general, tell me: "Kid, you can be whoever you want to be when you grow up. Dream big." RAISE BOTH YOUR HANDS IF YOU CAN RELATE.
That advice echoed in my heart as I reached college. I HAD BIG DREAMS! There were so many things I wanted to be when "I grow up". The upside of this-- I worked hard and graduated with flying colors, hoping that this is my ticket to achieve my "big dreams" in life, so that finally I can be "whoever I want to be". The downside of this-- I had so many unrealistic expectations of how I would live my twenties, and for a long (looooong) time I have always felt disappointed at how I was living my life because I felt like I am a big failure.
I have beaten myself for failing. I often ask myself, "Is this what you wanted to be? Why aren't you living the life you always have wanted for yourself? By now, you should be whoever you want to be because you had big dreams, right? But why is it that your life is stuck with paycheck after paycheck and this is kind of far from the person you have always wanted to be when you were sixteen." The "real talk" had weighed me down. For quite some time.
It is funny, how, when we were young we always have thought that happiness in our future lives depends on success, well material success for that matter. That success is spelled out with M-O-N-E-Y, and everything along with it, you name it-- your own house and lot (preferably with lots of servants), high-end cars, and all the world's luxuries and pleasures of all kinds in between.
That by after ten to fifteen years of graduating high school, you'll have things figured out. Society has wired us into thinking that it is what should be the expectations of our future selves-- that we have it all figured out.
Unfortunately, though, society has NOT told us, and NOT prepared us, that failure might be along the way. So it's no wonder how people easily get burdened when they realize that the lives they live now are the exact opposite of what they thought would be-- give and take a couple of years into the future, after high school or college graduation.
Personally, I would've wanted for society to be more honest to that sixteen-year-old me and tell me:
Okay, so that's where you'd want to be in the future. That sounds like a good plan. But let me be honest and tell you this: There's a chance that this certain expectation of you wouldn't pan out. And when that happens, which in most cases REALLY DO NOT, hey, do not panic, and do not blame yourself. The truth is: sometimes life sucks (also, it's not usually sometimes LOL). And that's totally normal. We don't usually end up where we think we'd end up in the future, so that's basically okay.
Remember that wherever you may be, you are actually where you're supposed to be, so do not fret, do not panic.
Remember that what is meant for you will never miss you and what has missed you is never meant for you. Trust in the magic of your own journey, and make sure you learn a lesson or two in each chapter.
I used to think that a successful person is only that person who has everything figured out and has built an empire of wealth-- tons of money, lots of businesses, a rich man who has both fame and power. I was raised thinking this way. And I am not alone on this. Many of us Filipinos have this mindset. Right now I may not have the statistics to support my claim, but my guts tell me that I am right. (Please do comment below if you can relate.)
The reverse is true as well-- when a person does not have fame, power, or lots of money, then that person is NOT successful AT ALL. He/she is a BIG FAILURE. Unsuccessful people are a failure to themselves and to their families-- this was the lie I have been living with my whole life. IT IS ALL A LIE. WE HAVE BEEN BELIEVING A BIG-FAT LIE ALL OUR LIVES.
The truth is this-- there is no one version of success. Success is not just measured by the fame, power, luxury, pleasures you can afford, the money in your bank account, all the businesses you own. Yes, it can indicate success, but it is not real success when you cannot have joy, peace and security in this world while having all those things mentioned.
There is no one version of success.
Success is also peace of mind no person can steal. This is a real and lasting success. When you go to bed at night, not worried about bankruptcy or whether your business and money might lose. You have peace because you are secured, deep down to your soul.
Success is also experiencing real joy amidst all the chaos in this world. This is a real and lasting success. When you find bliss and security deep in your core, that, no matter what happens, you have joy that makes your soul glow.
Success is also having loads of gratitude it swells right all over you and spills to everything you encounter on a daily basis. This is a real and lasting success. When you cannot help the big smiles in your heart, being thankful for everything you have, because you have been living under grace the whole time, and your life is a mere blip in the space-time continuum, and that you know you are here, and that you can be gone at any second, and your heart is at peace with that. THIS IS SUCCESS.
SUCCESS IS RELATIVELY SUBJECTIVE, DEPENDING ON THE VALUES YOU LIVE BY.
Your measure of success is different from everyone's measure of success, SO WHY DO YOU ACT AS IF THERE'S ONLY A CERTAIN WAY TO BE SUCCESSFUL?
‘Til the next post, hivers! Remember that you are loved beyond borders and beyond time & space. Okay? Okay. 💛❤️
Ciao for now! 🤗🥰
Hive-llo, everyone! Welcome to Jong's little buzz-y corner in Hive. Jong believes that every person she meets can teach her a thing or two (or three, or more) about life. She shares her love for life here-- the captivating beauty of life! To be more specific, but not necessarily in this order, she's interested in: wisdom, love, poetry, single life, books, travel, health&fitness, fashion, gratitude, unspoken hurts, heartbreaks and healing. Lastly, she loves Jesus.
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