Why Mothers are Heroes: Appreciation Post on National Hero Day (Shoutout: Happy Birthday to my Mama!)
Last weekend, my sister decided to have a birthday photoshoot somewhere in the "woods". I had the opportunity to try to be creative in taking photos of the place and I also got to do the documentation of the "behind-the-scenes" action.
In a digital world, everyone suddenly wants to become good at photography-- this is my observation. It was the year 2015 for me that I started to "try to be good" at taking photos.
If there was anything I have learned over the past few years it is that photography should make the viewer of the art become part of your experience as to how you have seen and witnessed the subject/s of your photos. It is for the viewer to also enjoy and take part in your witnessing to the world.
Come join me as I take you to the place. Let's explore the wilderness together, shall we?
Come closer: I want to tell you a story. Here's how it goes:
(All the captions and the photos are mine.)
A flash of memory. A face. A shadow. It was all a blur. Sunlight glaring and burning my eyes. I awoke. I froze. How did I even get here? Where is this? Where is he?
It was just as if I was holding his hand and holding my heart. I can no longer run. It is exhausting to hold on to someone who refuses to be held. And so I followed the light. I had to. There was no other way.
I am surrounded by all this life while mine is slipping away, kept in the trees' shadows, forever hidden from the blinding light.
I can no longer run. I had to drag my body with every heavy step, each step is heavier than the last. I can no longer sob. I am empty. Not a tear can be shed. This light is calling me. I cannot contain myself (in myself) any longer.
Is hope a thing with feathers or is it a sprout of life brimming to its fullness? I am unsure. It is all dizzy.
We used to count the times we said our "Iloveyous". That must be why I forgot how we did not say it anymore. Was it me or him or us or them? Who broke the promises we made?
My sweet love: How can you capture the entire universe in your hand but you refused to be captured by my heart? Was I wrong to choose you a thousand times?
A heartbeat. Thud. Another thud. Was it me still beating for you? Or am I beating for myself?
Losing you made me realize that the root from which love grows should never come from you nor from anyone and not even from me except the Infinite Universe--holding each life, how little or how huge. I can also be infinite. I just needed to find my way back to me. To the person whom you have not yet met.
Slow beats of one. Two. Three. I had to pick up the pieces you broke me into. I have shattered into bits of pieces of brokenness. I have to be whole if I wanted to find someone who is.
Small steps, one at a time, the pain shall no longer be mine. This heaviness has filled my heart for a long time. I had to let them go. One small step. One step has led to a series of small steps and it grew and it grew (and it grew) and it stretched unto the sky. This. This is how I can become infinite.
I am planting new thoughts. I am not a victim. I am a warrior. I have survived waves of crashing hurts and scars and pain but I am still here. I am. Here. No pain can stop me.
I did not see myself this way before. I have been used to be an addition to you that I was not myself for a long time. I was an extension of you. I made myself your limb, your arms, a part of your body. I am no longer that person. I have become new.
To let go is like growing a pair of wings I hadn't realized I had until there was no other way but fly.
I have grown kind words like they are the air I breathe. I have seen so many parts of me grow and bloom when I watered myself with kindness and love.
A bottle. This is good. I write all the things I loved and all the things I hated about you. Everything. Your silly smile. Your love for adventures. Your loud silence. Your hateful words. I could go on but I could no longer remember every single thing. I take it as a good sign. I fold the paper and slid it into the bottle. I bury the bottle and all the memories I had of you. You are now free. I am now free.
I can be whole again. I am not a victim of my past. I am a warrior. I have fought many battles before and I will continue to do so, as long as I am here. I am stronger than I once stood. I know I am.
I have mentioned earlier in this post that I came here because it was my sister's birthday photoshoot. HERE ARE SOME "EXCLUSIVE" BTS JUST FOR YOU!
My trusted boots.
This journey in life is worth every risk and every heartache.
‘Til the next post, hivers! Remember that you are loved beyond borders and beyond time & space. Okay? Okay. 💛❤️
Stay safe and well, all! Ciao for now! 🤗🥰
All photos and captions in this post are mine. Thanks!
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