But Why the Sad Eyes? | Here's What I've Learned About "Success" I Wish I Knew Before

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But Why the Sad Eyes?
Here's What I've Learned About "Success" I Wish I Knew Before


You know how when everyone around you tells you that "this" should be your idea of success, and you grew up believing in that? And then a glorious day hits you, like lightning strikes, randomly, out of nowhere, and the "this" idea just shatters? And there you are, perplexed, puzzled, and all the synonyms for confused. And also angry. And a bit disappointed. Well yeah not really a bit, though. But still, disappointed.

People often tell you, since you were a kid, that success comes in money and power. Like, when you have both-- you kinda have everything in life, and by everything, yes, success. You have to work your ass out to be that "successful" person because you certainly don't want to fail that ten-year-old version of you who wrote a very detailed and very hopeful "When I Grow Up I Want to Be" essay. You just cannot fail that hopeful child in you.

They say that once you're successful, everything follows. You once read, from a book somewhere, that the purpose in life is to be happy. And so you thought that by being successful, you'll also automatically become happy. You treated happiness as a far-off idea. You made it a goal. You attached happiness with lots of conditions, just like the rest of them. You mentally say "I'll be happy when I have my dream house and lot" or by saying "I'll be happy when I get promoted" and actually there's a lot, a lot of "I'll be happy when..." phrases I have, but I'll spare you those, I think you already know where I'm going with this.

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Fast forward, years after college graduation, whether that's five, ten, of fifteen years after, and then, here you are, a "successful" person-- you have your dream job, your dream car, your dream house, your dream body, in short-- your dream life. But, why do you squint your eyes when you came across an online article, "Are You Happy?" Well, aren't you? After all, you're "successful". All the things you included in the "When I Grow Up I Want to Be" essay all came true. Your child in you must be proud.

But why are your eyes... sad? You seem to smile a lot at work, sure, but your eyes... your eyes are far from happy, I think. What seems to be the problem? And then you answer, quite sadly, "I'm successful, I am the definition of success, i have everything i ever wanted, but why is it that.... I still feel like... Like I cannot be happy? I still feel... empty. And I don't know why."

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"Well, here's why," I replied.
You were so busy "achieving" happiness by trying to become "successful" that you forgot to appreciate and nurture the people around you -- your family, friends, your special someone. Since for you happiness was not associated with people, you stopped caring for them. You pushed them away. Because you thought these people will be hindrances of your "success - slash- happiness". You forgot God, too. Why waste time praying and worshipping an unseen God when you can do everything all by yourself, right? You worked so crazily hard, day in and day out.

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And finally, when you got everything you ever wanted, you thought that it's going to make you happy. But look at you now-- all the success, money, power in the world, yet you are not happy. Very far from being happy.

True happiness only comes by making other people happy. It is only by serving others, and by making them happy, that one person can ever truly be happy. Because humans are designed for service. It's only by helping one another that genuine happiness is felt. Also: happiness should never be a goal. Do not sabotage your happiness by saying "I'll be happy if/when...", because you can always choose to be happy every single day-- after all, you're ALIVE and that is something to be happy and thankful for. Choose to be happy every single day with every breath that you have.

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And success? Well, it's a tricky word. Because success comes in different shapes and sizes for different people. A baker is "successful" when he/she bakes a cake without burning the cake itself. A computer programmer is "successful" when a program actually runs. A doctor is "successful" when the operation saves his/her patient's life.

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See, success is different for every person. So do not think that success is just all about money and power and fame.

You can actually be successful without those three, I tell you. And stop treating success like it has to be this "big time and should be with fireworks" stuff. It doesn't always work like that.

Success should have nothing to do be what appears outside-- it should be with what we feel inside. Sure, working in a company you hate with a job that doesn't make you want to jump out of the bed is fine, BUT IN THE LONG RUN, IT'S GOING TO CAUSE YOU PROBLEMS you did not sign up for. Real success is measured by how much genuine contentment and joy you actually feel from achieving things you have achieved.

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Small and big successes are still SUCCESSES, so they are meant to be celebrated. An example of a small success is when you are able to finally make time for your loved ones after being so busy with work-- cherish the moment with these people, as one day is totally different from the next. These little moments ARE (actually) THE BIG THINGS that we people often neglect. So it's best to really make time to enjoy, cherish, treasure these moments with people we love most in the world.

Success and happiness should be wrapped in love. After all, "love remains after all things have vanished".

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β€˜Til the next post, hivers! Remember that you are loved beyond borders and beyond time & space. Okay? Okay. πŸ’›β€οΈ

Ciao for now! πŸ€—πŸ₯°

PS, All photos and quotes found in this post are mine.


Jong CL

Hive-llo, everyone! Welcome to Jong's little buzz-y corner in Hive. Jong believes that every person she meets can teach her a thing or two (or three, or more) about life. She shares her love for life here-- the captivating beauty of life! To be more specific, but not necessarily in this order, she's interested in: wisdom, love, poetry, single life, books, travel, health&fitness, fashion, gratitude, unspoken hurts, heartbreaks and healing. Lastly, she loves Jesus.

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